How Hidden Judgements Cause Havoc in our Lives

Let's face it! Relationships are a huge part of our human experience! We have relationships to our love partner, our parents, our children, our work associates, our friends, our neighbors, and even the store clerk and the guy who comes to work on our water heater or fix our car! With Venus being retrograde as well as August being a "6" month, we have had ample opportunity to work on those relationships and probably get triggered multiple times!

If we begin to notice a pattern, such as having things break that cost us money, we may want to dig a little deeper to see what is really going on, besides the planets having us for dinner!

If a particular issue seems to be showing up over and over, such as large expensive home repairs or unexpectedly finding evidence of infidelity, these issues could be related to what can be called a bitter root judgement. I did not invent that term, but if you or even an ancestor created an internal judgement of someone based on a perceived or real character flaw or life circumstance, that judgement tends to grow roots and pop up unexpectedly from time to time.

For example, if your father was unfaithful to your mother and you judged him for it, there is a possibility you will either repeat the behavior or have your partner be unfaithful to you. Not only does the tendency pass down from parent to child, but because the child judged the parent, that child is doomed to experience the issue in their own life or possibly the life of their children.

I had a client recently who presented with difficulties regarding her relationship with abundance. Every time she seemed to advance in life, whether it be by attaining a well-paying job, or buying a home or a new car, inexplicably that new thing would have some sort of unexpected expense not covered under warranty and whatever gains she made would be stolen right out from under her.

This also happened to me in prior years. I got a well paying job at the post office, and within a month the IRS had garnished my wages for a tax bill my then-husband owed prior to our marriage. I would get a new car and it would break down or I would be involved in a car accident, totaling the car. This happened over and over again. In my early years at the Post Office my fellow letter carriers nicknamed me "the jinx." In three years I had six or seven vehicle accidents, some with my own car and some with the Post Office vehicles. None of the accidents were my fault, but I did lose the privilege of driving postal vehicles.

In those days I had no knowledge of spiritual healing, but since then I have been able to identify much of the underlying emotions I was feeling at the time. I had some judgements!!

It may take a little soul searching to identify who you may have judged to be experiencing whatever challenges you are faced with, but it probably has something to do with what the judgement is costing you. Judgements are expensive!

If you judge your family for being poor and you vow to marry someone who has money, the person you end up marrying may not be as abundant as you think or may experience recurring financial setbacks.

If you judge a parent for their recurring marital affairs, you may have difficulty staying faithful to your partner or you may have trouble finding a partner who is faithful to you.

If you judge someone for their religious beliefs, you may find that you are judged for yours.

If you judge someone for abusing their advantages in life, you may find it difficult to succeed.

There are also judgements towards individuals for how they identify or present themselves in the world. Judging people for their life choices, gender identification, sexual preferences, color of their skin, their weight, their religious beliefs, their social status, their political affiliations or even where they shop for their groceries can create difficulties in your life if you hold this judgement deep in your soul.

The list goes on.

But here is the kicker. Sometimes it is not even you who made the original judgement!

Sometimes judgements get passed down from parent to child!

That is not fair!!

I really wish it was not true. But over and over I see patterns.

A woman may marry a partner who gets injured in some way or for whatever reason cannot or will not work, taking away their ability to contribute the the family's financial needs, forcing the woman to be the main breadwinner in the family. Sometimes it happens that the woman judged her partner for the lack of money making skills, and sometimes it happens because someone in the family judged someone for their poor money management skills. But then that woman's child grows up and marries someone exactly the same.

Even if you judge a stranger, it has an affect, but normally it has to take root to cause a problem. We judge people all the time! We judge bad drivers. We judge people we hear about on the news. We judge people who demonstrate bad behavior in public. But normally those judgements return to us fairly quickly and don't tend to be recurring problems. I notice if I judge someone for bad driving skills, I will almost immediately make some scatterbrained error in my own driving within the same day. For a judgement to take hold and affect you in your life, you have to feel that judgement deep in your soul or think or talk about it continually.

If you judge someone for their bad mothering skills, for example, you may end up having a family member demonstrate bad mothering skills and possibly even in a worse case scenario, abandon, neglect or lose custody of her own children. However, for this significant event to occur, you have to feel that judgement deeply and carry it around with you, or perhaps judge them over and over every time they make a mistake in your eyes.

Sexual abuse also tends to run in families. Obviously it is really hard not to judge perpetrators of deviant behavior! This one is particularly difficult to heal, because the victims are completely justified in their judgements, but for the pattern to be broken, the victim, the victim's family and friends really have to allow the Universe to bestow consequences for this behavior and release their own judgements of the person responsible. Sometimes organizations or groups of individuals, such as a religious systems, sports, entertainment, military or non-profit organizations turn a blind eye to the abuse or even cover it up. We must release our judgements towards these groups while at the same time holding them accountable for their actions or inactions. In order to heal, we must release the perpetrators from our energy field. Judgements create a link to the crime and hold us captive and increase the possibility of it recurring at some point in our children's or grandchildren's lives.

This does not mean we cannot work to hold perpetrators or groups of perpetrators accountable! Yes, we do what we can to bring justice, but we don't emotionally hold on to the wound.

So how can we identify and heal judgements so that the patterns in our lives can shift to a more beneficial experience of life?

We can do a general prayer releasing any judgements that created an identified pattern, but sometimes we have to have that "aha" moment when we identify the root cause. This can happen on our own through inner contemplation, or you may want to seek out a soul healer to assist you.

Traditional therapy comes in handy, but when these judgements get stuck in your body, you need a healer to get them out.

You will know when you are free! You may feel a release, such as a surge of joy shooting through you. You may feel lighter or you may find it easier to breathe. You may even heal from a physical ailment. Yes! Your body will react physically from judgements. Sometimes the victims of your judgements will also feel it in their bodies and souls. They may find it difficult to move forward or succeed in life and may even have difficulty overcoming whatever character flaw you have judged them for!

The real way you know you are healed is when you have no emotional reaction at all to a person or situation which you have held a judgement against. When you can be completely neutral and not react emotionally to a wrong or perceived wrong, then you know you are healed.

This takes time! I am not saying that you can't break a pattern or release a judgement immediately, but here is the thing. You can say words all day long, but until you really feel a release in your heart, you still have work to do.

Try this today.

Think about a pattern in your life you would like shifted. See if you can identify someone you may have judged for the very thing you are struggling with. Look into what you may know about your parents or grandparents and see if you can identify any judgements they could have made.

Here is a general prayer you can say to release various judgements.

"In the name of the LIght, I release my judgement toward ..... for ....... I also release any similar judgements made by my ancestors up to seven generations back and declare freedom for my children and grandchildren from experiencing any results of these judgements. I completely release you from my life and let you go. You are free and I am free. And so it is."

This is a time when the Universe is conspiring to help you move on from things that have held you back from experiencing your highest good. Holding onto judgements is only one possibility on why you may be having trouble healing or breaking difficult patterns. This healing practice takes some inner contemplation and happens over time. When you are ready to release situations or judgements from your life, you will feel it in your heart.

Ask the Divine to help. You can say an affirmation, like, "I now shift my awareness in such a way so that I am willing to release this judgement, with the help of the Creator of All That Is." Watch miracles occur as you take responsibility for your own well-being and release blame.

If you would like to schedule a private session with me to obtain assistance releasing known or unknown judgements or finding the source to recurring problems in your life, I do private healing sessions by Zoom, phone and in person in my home office in Winchester Virginia. You can also find out where I am going to be and what I am doing just by checking out my website! My newer articles are now posted on Substack! You can find links to all those aspects of Joy's world here!

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