Healing From Disappointment

Disappointment is one of those emotions that can sometimes come sneaking into our experience like a cat who thinks it is stalking a mouse, only to discover it was a piece of fabric on a string, or like a deer that suddenly finds that the light barreling toward them is attached to metal and screeching tires.

Recently Spirit showed me through watching an old television series based on a fictitious character who was in charge of a sect of organized crime that sometimes we are completely oblivious to a truth until someone else points out the obvious.

We may have gotten disillusioned about a job, a lover, a family member, or even a belief system or a cause. We are going along our merry way, feeling satisfied with the direction of our lives, when suddenly, or maybe not so suddenly, we realize that we have been putting our heart and soul into something that is not exactly the way it appears.

"What are you gonna do?" a popular television personality liked to quip when faced with a difficult truth or an unchangable situation.

Here are a few things you can do to navigate difficult changes and recover from disappointing losses or disillusionment.

1. Allow yourself time to grieve your loss. Many times disappointment hides in the deepest recesses of our soul, unacknowledged and unaddressed. We bravely carry on, smiling on the outside and screaming on the inside. It is so important to recognize our disappointments and grieve the loss of the way we thought life was going to be. One day we wake up and we find we can't get out of bed, or we can't face an individual who hurt us. They may or may not even know what they have done to disaapoint us, but we have suffered in silence, allowing our life force to drip out of our soul, one drop at a time, until we eventually can't muster up the strength to put on that happy face one more day. Acknowledging and addressing hurts is the first step towards healing. I heard recently that we cannot decide when we are done with grief. Grief decides when it is done with you. On the other hand I have seen people who never recovered from grief, and I don't think that is healthy either.

2. Confront the offender if it is at all possible. Sometimes the offender is ourselves! Perhaps we have set too high a standard that no one could possibly live up to, including ourselves. If possible, write out a list of offenses, and how each one made you feel. Communication is the first step toward resolution! If you can't communicate directly, it is okay to write a letter to the offending party, even if the offending party is yourself.. You can either choose to give the letter to the person if possible, or you may choose to burn it, bury it, or flush it! Sometimes the offending party is not a person. It could be a cause. It could be a belief system. It could be a political party. Writing down your feelings is paramount to healing!

3. Let go of the offense! Forgive, or at least be willing to forgive. I understand that some offenses are inconceivable and seemingly unforgivable. However, don't allow the offense to eat away at your own sense of well being! If you can't forgive, perhaps a session with a therapist or energy healer like myself is called for. (You can contact me HERE for a private session.)

4. Accept what cannot be changed. I read recently that the only way to change your future is to accept your present, and that really sounds true to me! Living life in the past or the future creates a life of disappointment and regret. The present moment is really the only thing we have!

5. Get up and move on! At some point we have to let go of our grief and choose to live! Don't expect this to happen overnight, but don't let it go on for years, either. Happiness really is a choice! (yes, I have suffered from depression in the past, and I understand the grip it holds on us sometimes. However, when I choose to focus on positive aspects and let go of what I cannot change, joy seems to be a natural byproduct!)

Sometimes life is disappointing. Sometimes we get blindsided. Life is unpredictable. It is okay to have setbacks and to question the direction of your life. The good thing about life is that you are allowed to have course corrections! You can change your mind. The sun will come up tomorrow.

I do chat about this subject in my latest YOUTUBE video, which you can check out HERE.